You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
