So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
