Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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