Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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