I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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