New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
