I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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