Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
