so that wasnt chicken after all
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
