You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
everyone is single if you try hard enough
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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