there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
