I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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