Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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