is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
