U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
