Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
