On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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