I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
