Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
