Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
