nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
