hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
