When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
