is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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