To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
