spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
