fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
