i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
