I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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