Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
