i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
