you guys were way drunker than both of me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize