I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
