I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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