remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize