I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
