Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just high enough for therapy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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