I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
