i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
