oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
