Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
