he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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