is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
