if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think your dad took our porno
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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