Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
