Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
