I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize