Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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