I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
