did you get engaged???
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize