Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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