hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
