Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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