its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Less talking, more tequila
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
