I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
