arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
