Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
