$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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