is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
