These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
