4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
