Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize