We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize