1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
